It’s hard to look around the world right now and not feel overwhelmed by the suffering going on. California is experiencing uncontrollable and deadly wildfires. Texas and Florida were just devastated by Hurricanes Harvey and Irma. A massive earthquake just rocked Mexico. Puerto Rico (my homeland) suffered mass devastation in Hurricane Maria. The weighty remembrance of 9/11 was this week.
The powerful energy of these events can take a toll on those of us who feel deep compassion for suffering. To be of greater service to those who need us, we must remember to first protect our own energies. Compassion Fatigue is a real thing — with very real consequences.
After spending almost 20 years in the mental health field, serving the most vulnerable populations undergoing profound trauma and tragedy, I know Compassion Fatigue well. It can become absolutely debilitating to worry about, care for, and nurture other human beings on a continual basis. I took on my clients’ anxieties, worries, fears, traumas, and emotions all day, every day. On top of that, trying to manage my own struggles and life circumstances…you can imagine the toll it took on me. I will never forget an elevator ride I shared with a scared boy of maybe 6 years of age as he clutched the hand of his social worker having just been pulled out of his parents’ home. As a new adoptive parent, I felt the crushing weight of empathy and responsibility (in my mind, I felt responsible to provide him a forever home because my adoption experience had broken my heart for orphans and stirred in me a deep realization that I COULD do something about it). I knew, when I got out of that elevator, my days of working in the foster care system with abused and neglected children were over. The compassion fatigue had become too big of a burden to carry.
I was personally affected by the hurricanes in Florida and I have many family and friends in the midst of a humanitarian crisis in Puerto Rico…I feel their pain and suffering. I want to help them…and I will, but first, I have to center myself first.
Here are five tips to ensure that you don’t become paralyzed by feelings of overwhelm in times of crisis:
- Know your limits and how you are best fit to help.
Some can go right to the front lines and dig in (this is my plan over the next few weeks). Others are depleted by that work. There are so many ways to help, and they are all important. If you can’t be on the front lines, perhaps your contribution is financial in nature. Maybe you have a knack for organizing people. It could be that you offer your garage to store supplies. Be honest about what you can take on, and what you can’t. And think outside the box when it comes to ways to help. You may have a gift to share that no one has thought of yet.
- Make time for self-care.
Exercise, nutrition, meditation, and whatever else makes you feel most alive and energetic are crucial in times of stress. We’ve all heard the saying that you can’t squeeze blood from a rock. Keeping your own energy high is essential in being able to give your best to those who need it.
- Limit your consumption of media.
Being bombarded with suffering, and even just the constant influx of information on any scale, can render you overwhelmed. Consume just enough information to stay informed, and then schedule times away from media to allow your body and mind time to process the information.
- Create and enforce boundaries between service and personal life.
Creating a barrier can help you protect your emotional space that you need to recover. We’ve all experienced those stressful times that seem to follow us no matter what we’re doing. After serving or helping in times of struggle, have a ritual that you practice before moving into your personal space. When immersed in the service of others, find your symbolic barrier to allow a fresh mindset when moving into your personal time.
- Utilize your support system.
Have a support system to talk to or spend time with away from the heaviness of your work with those in need. Seeking professional help can also be beneficial in working through the emotional toll of serving others in crisis. Just like the people you serve need you, you need others to keep you lifted up.
We are all called to help in our own ways. And we need all kinds of helpers. Don’t ever let the fear of not doing enough stop you from doing something. Perhaps right now, you are called to help in a small way. Maybe another time you will be called to help in a big way. When you check in with yourself openly and honestly, you will know what you are meant to do in the moment. And when you operate in the way you are meant to, with your emotional strength intact, it will be more powerful than you can imagine.
Ricky Santiago
October 2017